As I find myself almost half way through my fiftieth I want to share something personal
about womanhood, purpose, and change.
During the progesterone years, which begin to decline in our late thirties, our biology
supports giving, pleasing, holding, and doing for others. Our hormones are wired for
care. Our culture expects it. In traditional life, we would be surrounded by children,
elders, and community. Giving made sense.
As we move through menopause and progesterone continues to decline, a deeper
voice begins to rise. We become less afraid of disappointing others. Different questions
emerge. What are my true values? Who am I beneath the roles I have been playing?
What is my purpose now?
From working with many women, I have seen this again and again. When women begin
to express themselves more truthfully, the depression that often appears after forty
begins to lift. Depression at this stage is often a lack of expression.
I have led retreats for two decades. I have been the mentor, the organiser, the one
holding everything together. I gave freely, perhaps too freely. I was loved for it. And
maybe I needed that love more than I realised.
Something has shifted.
I decided to keep my one to one sessions at the same price for my community, but I
began charging more for consultancy work. Not from ego, but from clarity. My energy is
precious. My wisdom has been distilled through time and experience. I can no longer
give in the same way I once did. I want every hour I offer to be full of presence and
precision.
I began offering consultancy to guide others in creating signature retreats that are
nourishing for them financially as well.
It feels like moving from the maiden in the spotlight to the auntie who gives the map.
I also realised that doing everything alone was a trauma based response. A belief that I
would not be held. Healing has invited collaboration. And when we change, our
environment begins to reflect that back to us.
Two years ago, I travelled to India to research how to build a not for profit healing
centre. A sanctuary for care and long term wellbeing. I knocked on many doors, and
again and again I was told, not in India, especially not as a Western woman.
Then I visited my mentor at Vaidyagrama, a healing village in South India. They were
already living what I had been dreaming of. Regenerating land. Supporting elders.
Educating children. Offering deep, authentic Ayurvedic care.
In that moment, something softened. I no longer needed to prove I could build it myself.
I realised my role was to support what already exists and help bring it to the people who
need it.
I became a trustee of Vaidyagrama, and from there The Longevity Retreat Programme
was born.
The Longevity Retreat Programme is a ten or twenty one day physician led Ayurvedic
retreat held in England. It is designed slightly differently, adapted for the Western body
and mind. It is guided by doctors from India who carry generations of wisdom in their
hands and hearts. One of them specialises in autoimmune conditions, something close
to my own healing journey and the reason I wanted others to have access to this depth
of care.
This is a true reset. Not simply a detox, but deep metabolic healing that supports
rejuvenation, healing, and prevention. The programme begins with preparation, moves
through purification, and ends with nourishment and integration. After the retreat, we
continue meeting monthly for a year to support long term change.
We are launching in the spring. This is not a solo project. It is a collaboration with
doctors, therapists, and facilitators.
Thirty percent of the profit from The Longevity Retreat Programme will be donated to
Vaidyagrama, supporting girls’ education, environmental regeneration, and healthcare
for elders in rural villages. Click the link to find out more.
A Personal Letter
Ways you can stay centred while being triggered
